Self-Care [5 Love Languages]
Self-Care
[5 Love Languages]
SUPERHUMAN SCORE: 8.25
Written by: Ben Meer | May 26, 2024
You can’t pour from an empty cup. How to tailor your self-care routine to meet your deepest needs:
Principle-First
Ever wondered how to show yourself love in the most effective way possible?
The 5 Love Languages, a concept popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman, isn't just for romantic relationships—it's a powerful tool for self-care, too.
Here they are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Touch
By applying these languages to your self-care routine, you can nurture yourself and avoid burnout.
Transform your self-care game by speaking your own love language.
SUPERHUMAN SCORING
In every edition of System Sunday, I assess the featured system across three superhuman dimensions: impact, setup, and maintenance.
Unlike your typical review, I focus on factors that influence personal growth. Get to know the evaluation system.
Impact (9.5/10)
Self-care is like tending a fire. You need to regularly add kindling to keep it burning bright. If you neglect it, the fire dwindles and eventually goes out.
Self-care isn't selfish—it's essential. Only from a tended fire can you bring your warmest self to others.
Some types of kindling will help you burn brighter than others. When you practice self-care through the lens of your love language, that's precisely what happens. You stop guessing what might make you feel better and start knowing.
The impact is profound: reduced stress, increased happiness, and a deeper self-appreciation.
It's not about occasional treats but about consistent, meaningful practices that speak directly to you.
Onwards to identifying your self-care love language(s).
Setup (7.5/10)
Step 1: Determine your primary love language(s).
Reflect on what makes you feel most loved and appreciated.
Is it encouraging words, quality time alone, receiving gifts, thoughtful gestures, or touch?
What makes you feel alive and excited about the future?
Step 2: Once you've pinpointed your top love languages, brainstorm self-care activities that align with each one.
Below are some examples to kick off the brainstorming…
Words of Affirmation
- Practice positive self-talk; reframe negative words like “failure” to “learning” and “pivoting.”
- Write down your wins, e.g., compliments, milestones.
- Journal things you’re grateful for.
Quality Time
- Schedule solo dates to enjoy your favorite activities.
- Allocate time for creative expression.
- Practice mindfulness, meditation, or yoga to deepen your self-connection.
Receiving Gifts
- Treat yourself to affordable luxuries, e.g., dark chocolate, nice soap, candles, etc. (For me, it’s brand new socks. Don’t laugh.)
- Choose ‘practical materialism’ like a quality mattress.
- Invest in experiences that enrich your life (like traveling).
Acts of Service
- Go to the gym for “future you,” even when you don’t feel like it.
- Dedicate time to reading 30 minutes per day.
- Automate your investments and 401(k) contribution.
Touch
- Purchase quality, comfortable clothing.
- Get a massage; invest in an ergonomic chair.
- Ground yourself by putting your bare feet in nature.
Maintenance (6.5/10)
Schedule specific times in your calendar to practice self-care that nurtures you.
For example, “quality time” and “touch” rejuvenate me. So, I've scheduled a 30-minute walk in nature every afternoon to ground myself. This routine addresses both needs and keeps me refreshed.
Sidenote: While today’s newsletter focuses on self-care, the 5 love languages are also valuable for deepening relationships. Understanding what makes your significant other and family feel loved can make a huge difference. Discussing love languages with my fiancée was one of the most impactful conversations we've ever had.
BRINGING IT HOME
Remember, self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity.
So, take the time to invest in yourself. Your wellbeing is worth every bit of care and attention.
All systems go,
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