I’m curious…who do you admire most?

A few people come to mind for me…

James Clear (author of Atomic Habits), Susan Cain (author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking), Keanu Reeves (Actor), Jade Bonacolta (writer of The Quiet Rich newsletter).

These folks are commercially successful, yet they remain grounded—choosing to be self-assured over self-important.

6 practices to cultivate quiet confidence, here we go…

SUPERHUMAN SCORING

In every edition of System Sunday, I assess the featured system across three superhuman dimensions: impact, setup, and maintenance.

Unlike your typical review, I focus on factors that influence personal growth. Get to know the evaluation system.

Impact (10.0/10)

First, the truth: I’m not always confident.

Some days, I wake up and feel like an imposter. On other days, I feel more solid. I don’t have everything figured out.

That said, I’ve steadily become more comfortable in my own skin (psoriasis and all!).

And I attribute that personal growth to these 6 strategies…

Setup (7.0/10)

1. Learn and Grow Daily
 
The key to quiet confidence is competence.
 
Actions:
• Carve out 30 mins to read
• Listen to a podcast or audiobook during your commute
• Pretend everyone was sent to teach you something

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2. Create Your Own Momentum

Write down your wins—

Compliments, a presentation you crushed, solo travel, etc.
 
Then regularly review your wins.
 
See how far you’ve come and how seriously capable you are.

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3. Hone Your Body Language

Powerful body language makes you look more confident.

But even better? 

It makes you feel more confident.
 
Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, make eye contact, smile, give a firm handshake…
 
You will be dangerous.

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4. Pause Before Speaking (30% Rule)
 
When speaking, we allow ourselves only 30% of the time a listener would give us to fill a pause without it feeling awkward.
 
You have more time to reply than you think.
 
Wait for 2 seconds first.
 
Pause in Speaking + Eye Contact = Confidence

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5. Be Interested, Not Interesting

The #1 trait of the most charismatic people I know? 

In conversation, they focus on being interested, not interesting.

• Give eye contact
• Ask good questions

Make someone’s day by making them feel important.

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6. Embrace Your Flaws (Shadow Rule)

You don’t need to hide parts of yourself to be accepted by others.
 
Think about your favorite movie or TV character.
 
They have at least one weakness. You wouldn’t like them as much otherwise.
 
Imperfection is humanizing.
 
Own your flaws, be magnetic.

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Maintenance (6.0/10)

I learned about the 30% Rule and Shadow Rule from Charisma on Command by Charlie Houpert.

It’s a brilliant (free) YouTube channel that deconstructs the behavior of the most charismatic people in the world.

BRINGING IT HOME

Confidence comes from genuinely feeling that someone’s time spent in your presence has made their life better. 

All systems go,