Principle-First
“I promise to never stop dating you.”
One of my best friends said this in his wedding vows, and it hit me hard.
Because that’s exactly what can happen in a relationship if you don’t build a rhythm for it. “We should have more date nights” becomes “Where did the year go?”
What looks like an intention problem is often a systems gap.
SUPERHUMAN SCORING
In every edition of System Sunday, I assess the featured system across three superhuman dimensions: impact, setup, and maintenance.
Unlike your typical review, I focus on factors that influence personal growth. Get to know the evaluation system.
Impact (9.5/10)
Jade and I are both in unusually busy seasons of life. We’re each working on our debut books, while also running our business, Archimedes, together.
We’d find ourselves saying we should spend more quality time together. Then work would get busy, or we’d fall into the Netflix black hole. And another weekend would pass.
One small system changed that: Saturdates.
It’s exactly what it sounds like: a date on Saturday. We protect a few hours every weekend to get out of the house and do something fun together. Basically, it’s our version of adult adventuring.
This feels especially important when you work from home or with your partner. You can spend all day together without actually feeling like you’ve connected.
After more than one hundred Saturdates, we’ve listened to live jazz, started playing tennis together, and even rediscovered my middle school talent for pottery.
Turns out, those Saturday adventures added a lot of texture to our lives—and gave us the quality time we’d been craving.
Setup (9.5/10)
1. Block two to three hours every Saturday.
Make it recurring and treat it like an appointment you wouldn’t casually cancel.
2. Take turns planning.
Pick something to do with your partner, friend, or family member. Hiking. Exploring a museum. Wandering the farmers market. Mini golf. A cooking competition.
Some of the best Saturdates are entirely free.
There’s also something fun about trying something neither of you has done before. You might even discover something you want to do again. Zombie apocalypse escape room? Too stressful for me. Salsa lessons? Surprisingly fun.
3. Put the phones away.
Try to give each other your full attention.
If two hours turns into four, even better. What matters most is that you protected the time in the first place.
Set It Now
- Open your calendar.
- Create “Saturdate,” 2–4 p.m., recurring weekly.
- Text someone: “Saturday adventures, starting this week. You in?”
Maintenance (7.5/10)
Keep a running Saturdate Backlog in your notes app.
Whenever you hear about an event, workout class, comedy show, or random activity that sounds fun, add it.
It also helps to have a few low-effort activities to fall back on for weeks when nobody has the energy to plan. Maybe you browse a new bookstore and pick out a book for each other, get coffee in a hotel lobby you’ve always been curious about, or drive through a neighborhood that makes you excited about the future.
Pay attention to which Saturdates leave you feeling most connected and restored. Do more of those.
BRINGING IT HOME
Our intentions—“we should spend more time together”—are only as good as the systems that hold them.
So put some fun on the calendar. You never know which Saturday you’ll still be talking about years from now.
All systems go,
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