Ever notice how easy it is to solve other people’s problems?

A friend clings to a relationship full of red flags, and you can’t believe they don’t see it: “This is toxic, you should walk away.”

Another vents about workplace drama, and the answer feels obvious: “Just talk to your coworker directly.”

Then you go to your own job, and suddenly you’re like one of those inflatable tube men outside a car dealership, just flailing around hoping something works out.

There’s actually a term for this: Solomon’s paradox.

Named after the biblical King Solomon, who was renowned for his wisdom but struggled to apply it to his own life, the paradox describes how we’re often better at giving advice to others than to ourselves.

Why does this happen? Emotional distance.

With friends, we take the elevated view. With ourselves, we take the fetal position.

So how can we create that same distance when facing our own challenges?

Today’s system, adapted from my #1 New York Times bestselling book, How to Be Good at Life, offers a surprisingly fun solution.

SUPERHUMAN SCORING

In every edition of System Sunday, I assess the featured system across three superhuman dimensions: impact, setup, and maintenance.

Unlike your typical review, I focus on factors that influence personal growth. Get to know the evaluation system.

Impact (9.5/10)

Meet the Spock Method, inspired by Star Trek‘s famously logical science officer. Spock is known for approaching problems with facts instead of emotional reactions.

So we can imagine asking Mr. Spock to analyze a problem in our own lives. (I first came across this strategy in a Reddit post.)

Here’s how the conversation might go:

You: “Spock, science report on my workout adherence.”

Spock: “Analysis shows a 25% completion rate of planned exercise sessions this month. Subject attempts to exercise after work at 6 p.m., but energy levels are consistently low due to accumulated mental fatigue. Unexpected work meetings also frequently interfere.”

You: “I’m just lazy and lack discipline.”

Spock: “That conclusion is illogical. The data suggests a systems problem, not a character flaw. When morning workouts were scheduled last quarter, adherence was 90%. The current system is perfectly designed to produce the results it’s getting. A system redesign is indicated.”

(Sometimes I worry that if the real Spock analyzed my life, he’d just raise an eyebrow and say, “Captain, the illogic is off the charts. I’m returning to Vulcan.”)

What I love about this approach is that it helps us stop beating ourselves up.

When we remove the emotional charge from a problem, we can often see what’s actually happening. And once we see the problem clearly, we can start solving it.

Setup (8.5/10)

The Spock Method takes just three steps:

1. Observe Without Judgment

Describe what’s happening using facts rather than interpretations.

Instead of: “I’m terrible at following through.”

Try: “I completed 60% of the tasks I planned this week.”

The goal is to observe what’s happening without turning it into a judgment about who you are.

2. Analyze Patterns

Look for recurring conditions that might explain your results.

For example: “I get less done after 3 p.m. meetings.”

3. Hypothesize Solutions

Suggest a small system change based on what you’ve noticed.

For example: “Scheduling important work before 3 p.m. may improve my results.”

Think like a scientist. You’re testing a hypothesis, not making a permanent commitment.

One small experiment can tell you more than another hour of overthinking.

---

Maintenance (8.0/10)

So when should you call on your inner Spock?

One way to make sure you remember is with an implementation intention, a simple if-then plan that helps you decide in advance how you’ll respond to a situation.

Here’s one worth borrowing:

IF I catch myself being overly self-critical or struggling with a difficult decision…

THEN I’ll put on my Spock hat.

With practice, this way of thinking starts to become second nature.

BRINGING IT HOME

Your mind is brilliant at solving other people’s problems. The Spock Method helps you bring that same clarity to your own.

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” start asking, “What could I change about the system?”

That one shift helps us spend less time being hard on ourselves and more time improving the design.

All systems go,

P.S. Have you started reading (or listening to) How to Be Good at Life? I’d love to hear what you think of it. Just hit reply and let me know. I read every response. 😊

P.P.S. Amazon just dropped the price of my book by 28%! It’s the lowest price since launch, and I’m not sure how long it’ll last. If you’ve been thinking about grabbing a copy, now’s a great time. Explore it on Amazon →