“Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.” —Neil Strauss

Ever wish people just knew how to work with you from the get-go?

Imagine skipping the awkward learning curve, avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings, and diving straight into productive collaboration.

In Tim Ferriss’ Podcast, Claire Hughes Johnson (the former COO of Stripe) shares a powerful tool for managing teams—a ‘working-with-me’ guide. 

Think of it as a personal user manual that helps others understand how you tick and how to get the best out of you.

Let’s walk through how you can create one and why it’s one of the most empowering tools you can have in your professional toolkit.

SUPERHUMAN SCORING

In every edition of System Sunday, I assess the featured system across three superhuman dimensions: impact, setup, and maintenance.

Unlike your typical review, I focus on factors that influence personal growth. Get to know the evaluation system.

Impact (9.0/10)

I know what some of you might be thinking. Isn’t creating a ‘working with me’ document self-important or entitled, Ben?!

Let’s put yourself in the shoes of someone new to working with you. Working with anyone new can be stressful, even more so if that person is their boss.

I agree with Claire that creating a user guide is actually empathetic to others and can reduce their anxiety. 

Showing them exactly how you work best is a cheat code to transparency, trust, and collaboration.

Setup (7.0/10)

Here is Claire's complete ‘working-with-me’ document.

Inspired by her approach, I’ve adapted a template to include 6 sections and guided questions to help you create your own user manual.

Spend about an hour reflecting and answering the questions below:

1. Communication

Outline your preferred methods and frequency of communication.

• Are you an email person, or do you prefer quick chats on Slack?
• When are you open to receiving non-urgent messages?
• When do you unplug?

2. Decision-Making

Share what helps you make efficient and timely decisions.

• How do you tend to make decisions (intuition or evidence-based)?
• What kind of data do you like, and from what sources?
• What's the minimum amount of time you need to make a decision?

3. Management Style

• What projects/tasks/decisions do you like to be involved in?
• What is your preferred cadence for 1:1 meetings?

4. Personality Traits

• What is your Personality Type? (You can take a free Big 5 Ocean Personality Test here.)
• How do these traits influence your working style?

5. Pet Peeves

Identify the small things that can derail your focus.

• What frustrates you or steals your energy? (Maybe it’s meetings without an agenda or meetings that could have been emails—whatever it is, let others know upfront.)

6. Miscellaneous

Consider sharing your interests to help others relate to you.

• What should people know about your family dynamic (kids, pets, etc.)?
• What do you like to do for fun?
• What’s your favorite type of food?

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Maintenance (8.0/10)

As you grow and change, so should your ‘working-with-me’ guide.

The key to maintaining its effectiveness is aligning it with your current reality.

Here are a few maintenance tips:

1. Regularly review and update your guide to reflect any shifts in your work style, communication preferences, or personal priorities. 
2. Encourage direct reports to give feedback on your guide, which can help uncover blindspots. Update your document accordingly.
3. Encourage team members to share their own guides, too. This isn’t just about making life easier for you but creating a culture of transparency and mutual respect. 

BRINGING IT HOME

If you’re a people manager, I highly recommend creating a document like this and sharing it with your team.

And if you’re not managing people yet, this exercise is still a game-changer (whether you share it with your teammates or not). It builds self-awareness and helps you be more intentional in how you operate.

The best working relationships start with clarity, and clarity starts with you.

All systems go,

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