Developing Thick Skin [3 Mental Models]
Developing Thick Skin
[3 Mental Models]
SUPERHUMAN SCORE: 8.13
Written by: Ben Meer | April 9, 2023
How to hater-proof yourself so you can realize your wildest dreams.
“Not taking things personally is a superpower.” –James Clear
I loved this quote the moment I read it. But how do we actually do it—not take things personally?
3 crucial mental models, here we go…
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First, why is developing thick skin important?
Because “no” is normal.
Paul Mitchell sold encyclopedias door-to-door before becoming a billionaire (from Patrón and hair products).
You see, life is a numbers game. Today's winners often got rejected the most (but persevered). They kept taking smart shots on goal and, eventually, broke through.
Any modicum of success I’ve achieved has followed countless “no’s.” From rejected applications to social media posts that bombed (I could go on).
If you want to be resilient, arm yourself with these 3 powerful mental models…
1. Spotlight Effect (Cognitive Bias)
We think people are paying far more attention to us than they are.
Your freedom begins the day you realize nobody is thinking about you.
2. The ‘Procedure or Perception' Razor
When you receive negative feedback, ask yourself:
- Should I change my procedure (actions I take)?
- Or should I change my perception (how I interpret the advice)?
Avoid constructive feedback from people who've never constructed anything.
3. The 10% Hater Rule
The other day I received a comment that I was “toxically positive.”
It reminded me of this quote:
“10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. Expect it and treat it as math.” –Tim Ferriss
A growth mindset is a belief that you CAN improve your abilities through dedication and hard work.
Mastery takes time (for everyone).
Commit yourself to lifelong learning.
BRINGING IT HOME
3 concepts to develop thick skin:
- Spotlight Effect (Cognitive Bias)
- The Procedure or Perception Razor
- The 10% Hater Rule
One final thought:
“Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.” –Colin Powell
All systems go,
P.S. Many of you told me you enjoyed last week's grayscale mode hack. Thanks to this smart community, I learned you CAN automate the daily use of grayscale 🙏. Here are instructions for iOS and Android.
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