Brad Feld is a multi-millionaire and venture capitalist at Foundry Group.

On the Tim Ferriss Podcast (Episode #448), he reveals a powerful monthly relationship meeting he and his wife follow (also a badass).

It's called “Life Dinner.”

SUPERHUMAN SCORING

In every edition of All Systems Go, I assess the featured product across four superhuman dimensions: impact, setup, maintenance, and aesthetics.

Unlike your typical product review, I focus on factors that influence personal growth. Get to know the evaluation system.

Impact (9.5/10)

I've followed Life Dinner for the past two years with my long-term GF.

It's been a game-changer for our relationship.

Here's the why of Life Dinner:

Life Dinner is a scheduled time to check in with your significant other.

It's like agile planning (with your most important client).

The process builds intimacy, trust, & accountability.

With a US divorce rate near 50%, we need new strategies like Life Dinner.

Setup (8.0/10)

Now here's how to do it:

Set a recurring calendar invite on the 1st of every month.

The session can take as little as 20 mins.

But it's better to have 1-2 hours allotted (if needed).

During “Life Dinner,” you'll discuss 3 overarching categories:

1. Personal Reflection on Last Month

2. Relationship Reflection on Last Month

3. Personal Goals for Next Month  

Let's dive into each…

1. Personal Reflection on Last Month

Guiding Questions:

• What could I have done better?
• What was I proud of?
• What's causing me anxiety?
• What am I worried about for the future?

2. Relationship Reflection on Last Month

Guiding Questions:

• What's one little thing we noticed about each other that we love?
• Are there things we learned about from our relationship?
• How might we want to improve moving forward?

3. Personal Goals for Next Month

Guiding Question:

• What do I want to achieve over the next 4 weeks? (This is helpful for prioritization and accountability.)

Maintenance (7.0/10)

Now, some guiding principles:

1. No stonewalling. Don't close up or detach while having tough conversations.
2. Be in the moment. Approach everything from a place of love. Ask thoughtful questions.
3. Take turns. Let each person share before moving on to the next category.
4. Prepare ahead of time. Keep a running journal of things you want to discuss.

Aesthetics (10/10)

The category “aesthetics” is typically only applicable to physical products.

While there is no physical product this week, I gave Life Dinner a “10” because sometimes the best systems are free—no gadgets required.

BRINGING IT HOME

TL;DR for “Life Dinner”

Schedule a monthly meeting with your partner:

1. Personal Reflection on Last Month
2. Relationship Reflection on Last Month
3. Personal Goals for Next Month

Try this relationship system for trust, intimacy, and accountability.

All systems go,

Ben Meer

Founder of System Sunday

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Resources

• Newsletter Archive: Read past issues of All Systems Go
• Energy Dashboard: Get an under-the-hood look at my self-tracking metrics for energy management (updated weekly)
• [Quick Win] Phone Charger Challenge: Save 60 hours every year with this simple morning hack