Brad Feld is a multi-millionaire and venture capitalist at Foundry Group.

On the Tim Ferriss Podcast (Episode #448), he reveals a powerful monthly relationship meeting he and his wife follow (also a badass).

It’s called “Life Dinner.”

SUPERHUMAN SCORING

In every edition of All Systems Go, I assess the featured product across four superhuman dimensions: impact, setup, maintenance, and aesthetics.

Unlike your typical product review, I focus on factors that influence personal growth. Get to know the evaluation system.

Impact (9.5/10)

I’ve followed Life Dinner for the past two years with my long-term GF.

It’s been a game-changer for our relationship.

Here’s the why of Life Dinner:

Life Dinner is a scheduled time to check in with your significant other.

It’s like agile planning (with your most important client).

The process builds intimacy, trust, & accountability.

With a US divorce rate near 50%, we need new strategies like Life Dinner.

Setup (8.0/10)

Now here’s how to do it:

Set a recurring calendar invite on the 1st of every month.

The session can take as little as 20 mins.

But it’s better to have 1-2 hours allotted (if needed).

During “Life Dinner,” you’ll discuss 3 overarching categories:

1. Personal Reflection on Last Month

2. Relationship Reflection on Last Month

3. Personal Goals for Next Month  

Let’s dive into each…

1. Personal Reflection on Last Month

Guiding Questions:

• What could I have done better?
• What was I proud of?
• What’s causing me anxiety?
• What am I worried about for the future?

2. Relationship Reflection on Last Month

Guiding Questions:

• What’s one little thing we noticed about each other that we love?
• Are there things we learned about from our relationship?
• How might we want to improve moving forward?

3. Personal Goals for Next Month

Guiding Question:

• What do I want to achieve over the next 4 weeks? (This is helpful for prioritization and accountability.)

Maintenance (7.0/10)

Now, some guiding principles:

1. No stonewalling. Don’t close up or detach while having tough conversations.
2. Be in the moment. Approach everything from a place of love. Ask thoughtful questions.
3. Take turns. Let each person share before moving on to the next category.
4. Prepare ahead of time. Keep a running journal of things you want to discuss.

Aesthetics (10/10)

The category “aesthetics” is typically only applicable to physical products.

While there is no physical product this week, I gave Life Dinner a “10” because sometimes the best systems are free—no gadgets required.

BRINGING IT HOME

TL;DR for “Life Dinner”

Schedule a monthly meeting with your partner:

1. Personal Reflection on Last Month
2. Relationship Reflection on Last Month
3. Personal Goals for Next Month

Try this relationship system for trust, intimacy, and accountability.

All systems go,

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Resources

• Newsletter Archive: Read past issues of All Systems Go
• Energy Dashboard: Get an under-the-hood look at my self-tracking metrics for energy management (updated weekly)
• [Quick Win] Phone Charger Challenge: Save 60 hours every year with this simple morning hack